Friday, May 2, 2014

New Urbanism: Let's Kick It Up A Notch

New Urbanism: Extreme

Joe Reader: "Phil, you're so smart, what is this 'New Urbanism' everyone is always talking about?"

That's a great question, reader, and it'd help to know a little about the concept before I tell you about how I intend to revolutionize the movement. Wikipedia, the world's most credible source of information about everything ever, defines New Urbanism as: 

New Urbanism
"...an urban design movement which promotes walkable neighborhoods containing a range of housing and job types. It arose in the United States in the early 1980s...New Urbanism is strongly influenced by urban design standards that were prominent until the rise of the automobile in the mid-20th century;"

Example:
(Not nearly extreme enough.)

So now that we know a bit about New Urbanism lets get on to the reason you're here. The working title for the project is "World Within A World". Do I have your attention yet?

The basic concept is that we take the idea of intentional community design and pre-automobile urban design and kick them into overdrive in a community designed to both never require an automobile and to 'encourage' interaction and a strong sense of community.

(It'll be funnier than this, and that isn't easy.)

We build a huge ass house complete with in-door parks, huge common areas, video arcades, kitchens, library and everything else anyone could possibly want with the exception of contact with anyone outside the house. It will be roughly as big as a football stadium. We then fill the house with a population the size of a small town pulled evenly from towns and cities around the country.

Each participant gets a room roughly the size of a closet in which to live but their sleeping areas are communal in an effort to encourage interaction among residents. There will be no administrative staff or security of any type beyond anything established by the residents of World-Within-A-World. Once the residents have been introduced into the house the all possible exits and potentially the entire house are sealed shut with concrete.

(Nature's most indestructible material.)

The hallways will be lit by a series of electric lights as bright as daylight which will be set to dim and extinguish to simulate the movements of the sun, and residents will be given personal lights which will be rechargeable for use at 'night'. The parks will be stocked with fertile soil and numerous gardens in which food shall already be growing with room for additional cultivation, and a large number of harmless animals such as bunnies will have been released into the environment to provide additional sources of food should residents make use of them.

The goal of World-Within-A-World is to lock the willing residents into the isolated "town" and wait for ten years. Once the time has finished we'll crack it open and see what's happening inside. Anything might happen, and I for one would look forward to checking it out. ie: Isolated government, community laws, weird cult religions, or maybe the rabbits become hyper-intelligent and conquer their oppressors.

(I've got my fingers crossed for this one.)

Inaccurate Floor Plan
(Go Sports!)

I tried designing an actual floor plan in MS Paint but screwed it up pretty bad. So instead of that here's a floor plan for a football stadium. While this image may be a great help in imagining the World-Within-A-World project its the closest you're going to get.

So, yeah, if anyone likes the idea and has a few million dollars kicking around they'd like to toss my way I can promise you I wouldn't put any of it toward building something like this and would probably buy a jet ski.

(Wouldn't you?)


1 comment:

  1. Ok, sign me up. For the good of intellectual inquiry, wall me into the concrete, dude.

    ReplyDelete

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