For those who know they'll need a minute away, there would be a slow moving cart, a-la- Pirates of the Carribean ride, that begins at a bar, and is interspersed with another every hundred feet (it would stop at least three times, and water would be affordable here, or dare I say it, complementary). An iced beverage that one doesn't need to throw down twice the minimum wage for would calm the tempers of the overheated and overstimulated with the significance of one fascist narrative. The visitor would pre-pay, so that they could have one part of the day that doesn't demand cash.
Now, for the content. Andrew Ross would be consulted for knowledge on Disney as well as of Disney goers. After the quite essential drink, the visitor would be told that indeed, no, they are not crazy. Androids or humans (whichever developers find the most soothing) answer and vantriloquize rhetoric that the visitors know well.
- "The original stories that Disney stole from may indeed be better. But whom does your child love? The blond mermaid of the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale? Or the red headed Ariel? Which would you choose, if you were a child and had the choice?
- Yes, this IS the everglades. THAT is where you/we are. We acknowledge that.
- This may not be the happiest place on earth, but why shouldn't it be? Is that a terrible endeavor? Can you fault us if the Disney version differs from yours?
- You are always already performing. Quote some Judith Butler. So please do not resent the performers. They're performing double. Or triple, in some cases.
- The gift shop is not meant to steal souls. We're sorry, but be prepared to drop a lot of dough on lead filled crap. Because childhood.
- Disney reflects the larger trends that constitute the real- don't resent us (Disney) for it.
- Breakdown of Baudrillard
- Simulation displacing the real (also Disney-fication)
- Bruner- narrative construction of the real
- Eco- Corporate controlled happiness- is your town PAID to make YOU happy? Disney is.
- Just smile, and enjoy. You paid enough to get in, so you might as well.
The only way that Disney could out Disney itself would be if it were to become conscious of it's post modernism. I envision this as an entire department of Disney. It could function as a relief after a day of Disney or as a crash course in how to enjoy the park, through the lens of the Disney-lacra.
There would be an emergency task-force to help those in the park experiencing existential crisis. They would monitor the security cameras and pick out anyone looking like there might be a parental or child breakdown- and deploy a theorist armed with cold water, some theory to digest the experience with, a shoulder to cry on, and maybe some freeze- pops for morale.
Which theory would most help parents/ theorists visiting the park a) to help them enjoy the experience
b) help them emotionally/mentally survive it?